She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
