If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
