Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
