Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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