chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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