Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
