dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
