guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
