I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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