why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize