I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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