So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
