Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
zippers are such a cool invention
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
