I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
