i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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