TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
