Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This gyro tastes like lonliness
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
