He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
