I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
