hell yes lets make some ravioli
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize