I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
