STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize