At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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