its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
