Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
