She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
