Define "chronic" masturbator.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize