I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
