Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
