toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
