Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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