omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
