I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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