I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
