hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
