Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
