On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
