I just saw a hot homeless man
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
