god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize