3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
