Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
