If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
