I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
