i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
