Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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