I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
