Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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