I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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