Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
