I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Couch. On fire.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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