i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
