True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
