ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
