i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize