id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
