One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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