Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
