Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
