i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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